Sometimes (In Praise of Your Full Emotional Spectrum)

Helen Garvin’s necklace.

Sometimes, your body’s gotta eat just as much as it wants to, which is a whole shitload more than it “should”.

Sometimes, you have to say no in order to get the yes you really want.

Sometimes, you realize you have many soulmates, and they surround you on a daily basis.

Sometimes, you get to that place where as a woman, when you are told you are too much, too often, you say, “damn right I am”.

Sometimes, you appreciate the love you are given in lessons learned.

Sometimes, you take that nap instead of doing the work you are supposed to do.

Sometimes, you look back and say, there, under the tree on that bench with that person leaning out of their car window, it was a love that will never be reached again, and that’s okay.

Sometimes, you create a world that is only yours, that is safe, and validates everything you feel deep inside. Sometimes, you recognize this is self-love.

Sometimes, you look at them and think, what worlds are hidden underneath their gaze?

Sometimes, the memory of their death makes your stomach churn to the point you are afraid you’ll leave your insides on the floor right there for everyone to see.

Sometimes, you want to shake your friend free of what they are trapped inside of.

Sometimes, your cat makes you giggle incessantly. Okay, many times.

Sometimes, you look around and wonder how you’ve come this far, that you can feel this much joy, even when the pain arises, because you’ve come to understand the beauty in it all. So you let it rise.

Sometimes, you get the text that makes it all better because those women in your life are so damn incredible.

Sometimes, you wonder what their heart would look like open, but you are proud you made the choice not to wait around and figure it out.

Sometimes, it’s all okay.

Sometimes, none of its okay.

Let it rise.